About my bloggy doo

I just need to put a few things out there before I start this mother, mostly just so you know what you are getting into before you read on:
1) Almost every thought that goes through my head is politically incorrect.  I do run those through a small filter before they come out of my mouth or onto this blog, but know that most likely I will offend you at some point in this journey.
2) I am not a very private person.  If I think it, I usually say it.  I like to be as authentic as I can about my personal beliefs, thoughts and opinions.  The only things I don't talk about openly are things that affect my relationships with other people (husband, friends, kids).  Therefore my style may come off as a little "TMI" for your taste.  That's okay, only read if you're interested.
3) I don't claim to be an expert in anything besides making an ass of myself.  And that field I have polished and honed into a fine art.
4) I have a bit of a sailor's mouth.  I always have.  At some periods of my life I have learned to suppress that desire but right now isn't one of those times.  I'm going to start on that tomorrow.
5) I used to dabble in the blog world about 4 years ago for family memories and such.  Otherwise I have little experience with blogging.  I am a little rusty but am hoping to dust off the old techy fingers and really hypercoagulate into the mainframe.
6) I am very fickle when it comes to my eating habits.  I will post recipes on here occasionally.  Some will be heinously fattening and delicious and some will be healthy and mediocre (seriously, how often can you use the terms "healthy" and "heinously delicious" in the same sentence?).  Sometimes I diet but not often.  I'm going to start on that tomorrow.
7) I may or may not use fragment or run on sentences.  Sometimes necessary.  And sometimes I will stare at a sentence for five minutes to decide if I placed a comma in the correct place, or if it needed a comma at all. Just like this last sentence.  Five minutes wasted.  I can't be pulling that kind of monkey shine if i'm going to spend a lot of time blogging.  Commas will be bastardized.

I feel a little better about myself now.  The purpose of my blog is a little selfish in motive.  I really love making people happy.  I have learned over the years that I really like to get a reaction out of people.  Mostly I just love to shock the hell out of you.  In fact, I thrive off of that.  I try to keep a high ratio of shenanigans and sarcasm in my life because I love to laugh.  I love to make you laugh because it makes me laugh and soon we are all peeing our pants.  Please let me make you soil yourself.  It gives me a sense of accomplishment.  See how selfish I am?  Okay, the true underlying motive for me right now is that I am needing to be inspired.  My soul is craving some inspiration and you are so damn inspiring to me.  I am hoping that by putting my thoughts out there into the cyber universe, I am going to get some karma back.  I am looking for something and i'm not sure exactly what it is yet.  I'm going to let you know when I find it.

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