My best week ever and jiggling body parts
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We actually had a good time. I can't say the same for my inner thighs and butt, which much to the expense of everyone else that had to view this scenario, were absolutely bulging out of every nook and cranny of the harness system. I'm going to refer back to the catch phrase of my blog: "life is better in stretchy pants". I cannot imagine the insane chaffing that was surely occurring in that moment for most of the people there that were wearing jeans. Completely raw reproductive parts=no fun.
Anyhoo, on the way there Tommy had asked me how my week was going. That's when I realized that I had had an absolutely fantastic week. Probably one of the best (in terms of mood and positive outlook) I have ever had. Let me take a moment to interject one thing that I forgot to post earlier this week: I decided not to start the anti-depression medication I had gotten a prescription for about two weeks ago. Last Monday morning, I took one pill. I went to the noon class at my gym and have rarely come that close to blowing chunks in my three years of doing those kinds of workouts. I got scared that this would be an ongoing side effect of the medicine and it just doesn't fit into my lifestyle. I know that one day seems really lame but after the almost vomiting incident, I decided to re-evaluate my decision of whether I really wanted to dive into the prescription medication world. I am still on my emotional high of rainbow and unicorn feelings from last weekend's Landmark Forum experience. I felt like I would give my new attitude a spin before starting the medicine so that i'd know whether any positive effects in my life were coming from my own choices of thought or being chemically forced. But I digress...
Back to my best week ever (perhaps a slightly exaggerated statement but let me have this one, okay?):
I will attribute my great week to a few things:
1) My main interactions with other people this week have involved me sharing my personal positive experiences.
2) I started noticing how my usual "stories" (see post a few days ago titled "Getting Authentic and Laser Boobs") about how others view me were affecting how I interact with people.
3) I have been able to get out of my same cycles of thought regarding certain relationships in my life, therefore allowing me to take a completely different path of interaction than I normally would have with those people.
4) I feel free of my frustration that comes from not being fully emotionally expressive to people.
I will recognize that I am still relatively fresh off of a unique experience but hope that by writing these thoughts down, I can look back and remind myself of my own empowerment when I find myself getting put into situations where I feel very challenged. Here is what I love about this week: NOTHING HAS CHANGED EXCEPT MY VIEW. Other people's views haven't changed. In fact, I am sure that a lot of people are completely weirded out by my Stuart Smalley attitude and are conveniently side stepping out the door when I walk in. I am completely okay with that. This is working for me. When I say that I truly am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul, I actually GET that. It makes sense to me because I have experienced that this week. And part of that experience has come because I have been able to share these thoughts via this blog and through interaction.
Another reason this week has been great:
This is the time of year that my spring fever starts to get rabid. I want to be outside! I want to run! I want to be naked! Sunny+over 50 degrees= I want to be outside running naked. I understand the amount of jiggling involved in this scenario (and don't get too excited any of you nasty wasty's out there, these babies are silicone and they don't move - we're talking jiggling in places that are less favorable). But if I'm being authentic from now on, I feel moved to admit that if it was socially acceptable to run naked, i'd be running trails like Pocahontas without her deerskin.
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I have always found you to be a breath of fresh air. I love reading your words. You are daring, and open. And I love that. I am not, in fact I decided to hole up in my art room and read books recently. But- I did the same thing, a couple of years ago. I tried one pill of an anti depressant, and vomited bad. Then, I decided to get up, and make a good workout my anti depressant. It's never failed me. I've also worn stretchy pants since I was 13, because life is better when you can just pick up and run whenever you want. At least I think so.
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